I shed my tears when I think about him, although I get butterflies everytime I see him. He makes me sad, but also happy. I can no longer trust my feelings, as they lie to me. I hate the way I feel when I'm with him, because I don't want to be happy or sad. Feelings that play trick on me, that don't make sense. That lie and decieve me. I hate those feelings I get in my stomach, like I've dry-swallowed a huge pill. Or I've just had a heart attack.